


One of Nature´s Masterpieces

by hilariousandunappreciated



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Family Fluff, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-05-16 14:00:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14812731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hilariousandunappreciated/pseuds/hilariousandunappreciated
Summary: “The family is one of nature’s masterpieces” -George SantayanaDan and Phil have a beautiful family life, but what happens if their perfect family balance gets thrown off unexpectedly?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, all! I worked really hard on this one so I hope you enjoy it!! Big thank you to @infinitylester for editing, @gracie-the-gay-yeet for beta-ing and helping me with most of the concepts in this, and @radical-flaar-queen for helping with the title. thank you, all <3

9:16pm

    Phil's eyes fluttered open. Without moving his head, he quickly surveyed the shadowed room, head foggy and eyelids lead-heavy. A light still illuminated most of the lounge, puzzle pieces were strewn across the oak floor, legos covered the coffee table, and stuffed animals rested in the corner and at the base of the couch.  _ Wow.  _ Suzie completely exhausted him today. In his attempt at keeping her out of Dan's way while he worked in the office all afternoon, Phil had let her pick whatever game she wanted (provided it was relatively quiet). Phil underestimated just how draining it would be to become a single parent for a day. 

    Suzie laid practically sprawled across his chest, feathered breaths tickling his bare arm, head nestled in the crook of his shoulder and clavicle, a tiny hand gripping the front of his red plaid shirt. As tenderly as possible, Phil ran a soft, pale hand down her back and cautiously began sitting up. Suzie’s eyelids shifted and she hummed in question. Phil's baritone voice whispered,

    “Time for bed, sweetheart. Let's get you tucked in.”

Suzie relaxed into Phil's lithe arms as he gathered her delicate frame into him and made his way to her bedroom door. Her silky curls brushed his neck as he hesitated for a moment in front of the office door. He peered in, watching the back of Dan's brunet head and his broad, slumped shoulders as they hunched over the obsidian desk, clearly still in a state of intense concentration. Phil continued, making a mental note to check on Dan as soon as Suzie was in bed. He finally reached the threshold of Suzan’s bedroom, lavender walls homely and inviting. She had stuffed animals and toys everywhere, her five-year-old attention span often moving from one thing to the next with no regard for tidiness. She was a lover of any and all animals, and Dan was usually too easily convinced to say no, so animals of all shapes and sizes were sat next to her bed, in the corner of the room, on the shelf. Phil thought it was a bit much, but he never told Dan or Suzie that. She was too delighted with all of it. They didn’t always spoil her, but sometimes they just couldn’t help it. She was always going to be their baby girl. As cliché as that was, it was true.

    He carried her to the bed pushed against the wall, tossing back the blankets before gently setting her down. Phil made sure to cover Suzie with all the blankets she wanted, tugging at the sheets to pull them up to her chin. He knew she wouldn't sleep without her stuffed dog so he turned to grab it from the end of the mattress, and she eagerly stretched her arms out to receive it, cuddling it as close as possible. Phil kneeled down next to the bed and leaned down to brush her forehead with his lips. She looked so cozy, eyes drooping slightly as she kept a strong grip on her dog. Phil hoped she would fall asleep soon; he desperately needed rest. He moved his hand onto hers and squeezed three times ( _ I love you) _ . She squeezed back four times with her delicate hand ( _ I love you, too). _

    “Goodnight, Suzie Q. You know I love you, right?”

She smiled lazily,

     “I know! Goodnight Papa.”

     “Goodnight, sweetheart. Sweet dreams.”

Phil stood, but before he made it to the door he heard her tiny voice,

    “Wait! I want Daddy to read me a story. Please will Daddy read me a story?”

Phil looked down and met her round, sapphire puppy-dog eyes. Dan was most likely exhausted. But he may be able to take some time away. He needed a break anyway. 

Phil nodded,

    “I'll see what I can do, Suzie Q.”

He winked at her and she smiled as wide as she could in response.

 

    Phil made his way back to the office door and knocked softly to get Dan’s attention. Dan turned in the office chair slowly, rubbing his eyes and blinking sleep away. 

     In a tender voice Phil asked, “Hey, Dan?”

     “Hmm?” he questioned, tone soft and low. 

Phil crossed the room, standing behind Dan and leaning into the back of his chair, hands resting on Dan’s shoulders. He bent down languidly to kiss the top of Dan’s head.

     “Do you think you could take a break, love? Suzie wants you to read to her. It might be good for you to look at something besides a screen.”

     Dan considered shaking his head. He really needed to finish this. Although, he had nearly been dozing off for the past thirty minutes and maybe he should just go to bed soon. He had hardly spent any time with Suzan the entire day. A pang of guilt spread in his abdomen and he tilted his head back to look at Phil and nodded.

     “Sure. I was nearly falling asleep, anyway.”

Dan attempted to smile, but the corners of his mouth hardly lifted. Every motion felt like work at this state of exhaustion. Phil ran his thumbs along the muscles lining Dan’s shoulder blades and added a gentle pressure. Dan easily leaned into the touch, humming contently before tilting his head back once again to glance at Phil. Phil seemed to get the hint and leaned his head down to place a gentle kiss on Dan’s lips. Pulling back sooner than he wanted to, Dan stood reluctantly then, turning to Phil and taking his hand, squeezing three times before letting go and walking down the hall to Suzie’s bedroom. 

    As soon as Dan entered, Suzie looked up and her eyes lit up with excitement and expectation.   

    “Hi, Daddy!” she greeted gleefully. 

    “Hey, Suze,”  he responded, smiling genuinely for the first time all day. 

Dan glanced to her bookshelf, moving a couple toys out of the way before finding what he was looking for. He grinned fondly as he read the simple cover,  _  Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne _ . He had countless pleasant memories reading the tales of Pooh Bear and his friends when he was much younger and he couldn’t have been more elated that his daughter enjoyed the same stories.

Dan lowered himself onto the twin bed, weight dipping the mattress down the center. He settled next to Suzie and his lengthy body barely fit into the space. Book in his right hand, he lifted his left to brush curls away from her forehead.

    “I heard someone wants to be read to,” he began, smile shining through his voice. Suzie snuggled further into the butterfly comforter and answered,

    “Yes! Please, Daddy! I wanna read about Pooh Bear!”

Dan opened the novel then, flipping past a few pages before pointing to the page he wanted.

    “Alright, I  _ suppose _ I can read for a little while.”

    Suzie cuddled further and further down, content noises muffled by fluffy blankets. Dan read aloud in the clearest voice he could muster,

    “Once upon a time, a very long time ago now, about last Friday, Winnie-the-Pooh lived in a forest all by himself under the name of Sanders…”

He continued reading as animatedly as he could through his fatigued voice. Just a few sentences in, Suzie’s brows crossed and she whined, 

    “Daddy, no! You're not doing it right! You have to do the voices!”

Dan rolled his eyes perhaps too dramatically. Some nights he was so tired he wished Suzie would just go to sleep and let him rest. But he looked into her begging eyes then, vibrant as ever, sparkling grey and blue, and knew he was going to have to do all the voices. She was too cute and this moment was too precious. So he read again, this time voice fluctuating and changing for each character: high frequencies and lethargic, low voices along with posh, energetic tones. Suzie just smiled and giggled intermittently, delighted at the superb storytelling. Dan loved to see her so enthusiastic and content. If she was happy, he was happy.

    Phil stood in the master bathroom washing his face when he heard the peculiar voices coming from the room next door. He patted his face dry with a fluffy towel and wandered into the bedroom again, pulling on a pair of warm pajama pants and prudently stepping out of his bedroom to peer into Suzie’s doorway. When he saw Dan recounting the tales of The 100 Acre Wood to a warm, content, and gradually sleepier Suzie, his heart melted. 

    When he had first considered having kids with Dan, this was just the sort of thing he could imagine. Bedtime stories, cuddles and kisses and holding tiny hands, Dan being loving and open and caring. He was already all of those things, of course. But being those things as a father was different. Phil had often thought of how wonderful of a dad Dan would become before they even talked about having kids. And now, watching their daughter falling asleep to Dan’s reading voice as Dan leaned down and kissed her head, he realized Dan had become an even better dad than Phil could have imagined. 

    Suzie's eyes were finally shut completely and miniature snores escaped from her pink lips. Dan watched her for a minute or two before closing the book quietly and setting it on the shelf next to the bed. He turned around to find Phil staring, shoulder pressing into the door frame, eyes shining and a smile playing at his lips. He didn't expect Phil to be there, jumping a little before clutching his shirt and harshly whispering,

    “Jesus, Phil! You scared me!” He stood to meet Phil, leaving less than a foot between them.

    “How long have you been standing there?!”

Phil just smiled slowly, eyes trained on Dan's face as he responded,

    “Just a few minutes. It was sweet.”

Dan opened his mouth to retort, but was immediately caught off guard by Phil gripping his hand and lacing his long fingers into Dan’s, diminishing his thoughts with a gentle kiss to his slightly ajar mouth. How it was that he could still distract him so easily after years of marriage was a complete mystery to Dan.  He sank his weight into Phil’s sturdy frame and Phil leaned back slightly to speak,

    “C’mon. Time for  _ you _ to get tucked in now” 

Dan pulled away and rolled his eyes a little and Phil just smirked back at him. Still firmly holding Dan’s hand, Phil dragged Dan next door into their bedroom. They undressed in comfortable silence, Phil sliding his pajama bottoms off and crawling into bed as Dan tugged his shirt off and shrugged his jeans down and off of his tall legs. 

    Dan sighed as he settled into the mattress, rubbing his bloodshot eyes and turning his weary frame to Phil who had already nestled under the inviting covers and was facing him. As his head sunk into the feathery pillow he muttered,

    “Thank you for watching Suzie today.”

Phil pecked Dan's temple,

    “Anything for you, dear,” a teasing tone bubbling from his voice. 

Dan wrinkled his nose and shook his head, feigning disgust,

    “Okay, that was just gross.”

Phil laughed then, head fully tilting back and tongue teasing the back of his teeth, crows feet peeking from the corners of his eyes. 

Dan laughed in response. He couldn't help it. Phil was contagious. The sound reverberated through the room and as their giggles died down Dan attempted to shush Phil so as not to wake up a dozing Suzie on the other side of the wall. Then silence swallowed the room. Phil was still grinning, eyes practically boring into Dan’s, unspoken affection filling what limited space they had between them. Phil relaxed then, sighing nearly inaudibly as he shuffled closer.

    Phil suddenly leaned in, their noses nearly touching, and the traces of an oncoming smile lurked in his eyes and at the corners of his soft lips. Dan just stared back at him, too exhausted to do anything and eagerly waiting to see what his husband was planning on doing. Phil reached his index finger up to Dan’s face, smiling, then as lightly as possible, traced his finger down Dan's nose, feeling the warm skin beneath his fingertip, eyes examining the freckles that were only visible when they were this close. Dan’s cheeks instantly flushed and a smile tugged at his lips. Phil was so strange sometimes. Before he could finish his thoughts, he felt a pair of supple lips on the tip of his nose, then his forehead, then his cheek. His smile broadened. How was Phil so damn cute and endearing after all these years? Oh well; he wasn't complaining.

    Phil released a feathery breath and finally leaned in to press a sweet kiss to Dan's lips. They smiled against each other at the silliness of it all, still getting butterflies and still blushing when they were this intimate. Dan snaked his hand behind Phil's neck, fingers brushing the short black hairs at the nape, pulling him closer and kissing him deeper. For a minute they both got lost in this exhausted, foggy state of mind, kissing lazily while cuddled in bed. 

    Phil finally pulled back a little, once again searching Dan's face, eyes tracing the slope of his nose, the freckles dusting the bridge, his captivating, rich eyes. He was the luckiest man alive. 

    “I love you,” he mumbled, breath tickling Dan's lips.

    “I love you, too,” he whispered back, enclosing his arms around Phil's waist, squeezing gently and pressing their lips together once again, only this time Dan pushed intensely and passionately. 

Phil hummed with a low rumble in his voice and leaned all the weight he could into Dan, sliding a chilled hand along his torso.

“Suzie’s fast asleep,” he whispered against Dan's lips in a dark voice, then adding, “We could...” He trailed off, leaving it to Dan to make assumptions about what he was implying.

Dan wanted to, he really did, but at the same time his eyelids were growing heavy and it was becoming strenuous to keep them open at all. Besides, there was always morning.

    “Mmm actually,” Dan laid a broad hand on Phil's chest, “I'm so fucking tired. I don't think I have the energy.” 

Phil just nodded gently. Of course, he didn't mind, it was just a passing thought. He didn't care what they did as long as they could do it together. He was exhausted as well. 

Dan spoke in a hushed tone, 

    “Just hold me, I'm about to pass out,” a chuckled breath let out as he said it, clearly aware of how ridiculous he could sound sometimes. 

    Phil never responded, instead just used his pale, toned arms to hug Dan as close as possible, his head resting on Phil's chest, hair tangled and eyes fluttering shut as his breathing gradually slowed. Phil kissed his dark curls and shut his eyes soon after, allowing Dan's warmth to overwhelm him and immerse him into a satisfying slumber.

 

    The morning was anything but satisfying. A sharp ring startled Dan awake. He fumbled around for his phone, eyes still half shut and groaning in disgust and annoyance. It was Friday morning and confusion wracked his brain. He never set an alarm for Friday. So why was his phone going off? His hand finally made contact with the source of his confusion and he brought the blinding screen to his face, squinting before seeing that it was actually a phone call. Who the hell would be calling him now? He took a second more to comprehend the caller ID. His stomach sank. It was from the adoption agency. They hadn’t called in years. What was so important at nine in the morning on a Friday? He answered before his thoughts would distract him and he would miss the call. 

    “Hello?” his voice squeaked.

A serious female voice responded,

     “Good morning, is this Daniel Howell-Lester, legal guardian of Suzan Marie Howell-Lester?”

Dan cleared his throat to recover. 

    “Yes, this is him,” and then, tentatively,

     “ _ Is there something wrong _ ?” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The phone call Dan received that morning was contributing to growing tensions. If only one of them was willing to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to @gracie-the-gay-yeet always for being my beta and collaborating with me on this. much love <3

     Phil stirred awake at the sound of Dan’s tense voice. He turned over slowly and squinted one eye open to see Dan sat up in bed, phone to his ear and solemnly nodding, occasional “mhm”s and “I see”s falling from his lips. Phil found it odd Dan was on the phone so early, or even at all. He could vaguely hear an unfamiliar voice on the other end, but did not attempt to interpret what it was saying. Phil considered rolling over to fall back asleep until he caught sight of Dan’s expression. Eyebrows furrowed and forehead creased into worry, he grew increasingly confused and unsure of himself, a glint of fear shone through his deep set eyes.Worry began gnawing at Phil’s thoughts. What was this conversation for? Did something happen to Dan’s family? What would be so concerning that Dan would look so lost? Was Dan okay?

His anxious mind was disrupted by the sound of Dan affirming,

     “Yes, of course. I understand. We’ll talk about it…”

“We?” This was a “we” issue?

     “Thank you… Y-you, too. Bye,” Dan stuttered.

The hang-up tone reverberated through the otherwise deadly silent room. Phil had a multitude of questions he wanted to spring on Dan. He sucked in a breath to speak but was cut off before he could utter a syllable,

     “Not now.” Dan’s tone was terse.

     “But Dan--” Phil protested.

     “I’ll tell you later, _okay_? J-just not...n-not yet.” Dan’s voice came out harsher than he meant it to. Phil only sighed,

     “Okay.”

With that, Dan pushed himself off the bed and pulled a shirt over his bare shoulders before plucking a pair of sweatpants from the floor and sliding them on. He blinked quickly, turning away from Phil and briskly walked out of the bedroom.

* * *

 

    Forty minutes of anxious wondering later, Phil still laid in bed, aimlessly staring at the ceiling and suddenly feeling more tired than he had the night before. What was going on? Dan seemed so lost and then...sad? It had been a while since he shut Phil out like this. It was not unlike him, but it had been so long. Whatever that conversation had been about it must have been serious.

Phil heard the click of the latch and rapidly glanced down from the ceiling expecting to see Dan, but instead was met with the freckled face of a five-year-old, glee firing in her eyes and already giggling. Phil couldn’t help but grin at the sight of her. Suzie skipped to the bed and pounced on Phil, who huffed at the sudden weight on his chest.

     “Time to get up, Papa!” she practically yelled in his ear.

He winced at the volume. Phil wanted to lie in bed longer, but parenting was a full time job. And duty called. Suzie poked his cheek impatiently.

     “C’mon! C’mon, Papa! Daddy is making breakfast!”

Phil kissed her fair, smooth cheek and reached and finger up to boop her button nose. She wrinkled her nose as she giggled again.

     “Alright, alright. Go tell Daddy I’m coming.”

Suzie jumped on him once again before hopping off of the mattress and running out, and excited, “Okay, Papa!” trailing after her.

* * *

 

     Dan felt a tightness in his chest as he stood over the stove. His shoulders slumped and his mind was overflowing with racing, panicked thoughts.

     ‘Another kid would be a substantial responsibility. But it might be alright? Then again, he and Phil weren’t ready for another kid. Just look how exhausted they were with one! They had not talked about having more kids. Dan had thought about it. Hell, he would have six kids with Phil if it were practical. But they hadn’t talked about it in ages. But considering the circumstances, how could they not? How were they going to handle this? _Could_ they handle it? Shit, how was he going to tell Phil? Fuck. Why did they have to call Dan? They could have just as easily called Phil first. He wouldn’t panic. He would know what to do. Dan was such a mess. Always too emotional. He never knew what to do. But what the fuck was he gonna tell Phil? He didn’t think they were ready. They were not ready. He was not ready.’

Before he could begin another set of frantic thoughts, Dan felt a subtle pressure on his lower back. Phil pressed into him a little further before snaking his freckled arms around Dan’s waist from behind and pulling him in, resting his chin on the top on Dan’s shoulder. Dan was speechless for once. He was still planning what to say to Phil and was afraid to speak before he figured it out. In the place of words he leaned his head back into Phil’s slender shoulder. They stood that way for a few moments, too tired and unsure to say anything.

The moment was broken when little feet padded into the kitchen and a high-pitched voice whined,

     “Daddy! Papa! I’m hungry!”

Dan pulled away from Phil first, almost as if to push him off of him. He turned to Suzie and bent down to face her. He smiled to conceal his stressed state,

     “It’ll be ready soon, Suze, I promise.”

     Breakfast was mostly quiet with the exception of Suzan’s silly banter, talking about her stuffed animals and things she had learned from the books she liked. Phil occasionally asked questions and provided commentary. Dan said nothing. He was too caught up in his own jumbled train of thought to pay attention to Suzie or even Phil.

     Phil looked up occasionally to try and catch Dan’s eyes. He never did. Dan was incredible absorbed in himself and his own thoughts. Phil was desperate to know what his thoughts were saying. If only he could read minds he could get into Dan’s head and figure out how to help him. But he couldn’t. And Dan didn’t seem to want to open up anytime soon. Damnit. Being shut out was unfair. Didn’t Dan know they could get through anything together no matter what it was? Could it be that serious? Didn’t he know that this pretending and not talking about it was the worst thing for them? Phil’s thoughts began to rile him up. He was thoroughly irritated. He loved Dan more than anyone in the world, but why the hell was he like this? Why did he have to shut Phil out like this? They told each other anything and everything, why was this any different? How dare he? This was so fucking unfair.

Phil’s thoughts were interrupted by the sound of Dan tidying the kitchen. Phil looked up and found that Suzie had cleared her place and run back into her room at some point. The dishes clanked louder than usual and cupboards shut with more force. Dan was practically slamming things around as he bustled throughout the kitchen. Phil let his annoyance with Dan get the better of him.

     “ _Jesus_ , Dan, what did cabinets ever do to _you_?”

Dan whipped around, immediately irritated.

     “Well, at least I’m _closing_ them since you never fucking do!”

Phil huffed,

     “Oh, _really_ , Dan? _This_ again? You’d think you would be used to it by now. Get over it.”

The words spat from his mouth before his brain could keep up.

     “Okay, you _know_ I hate that.” Dan’s voice rose suddenly.

     “Hate _what?_ ” Phil retorted.

     “Hate when people tell me to ‘just get over it.’ It’s fucking rude.”

Oh. Phil had forgotten that. But not wanting to admit it, the words,

      “Whatever. You _do_ need to get over it,” came out instead.

Dan’s eyes flashed with anger and yet Phil thought he caught a glimpse of hurt. Shit. He wasn’t thinking before speaking. Dan spoke up, voice slicing through the tension between them,

     “Fuck _off_!”

Phil opened his mouth to speak but before he could get a word out, Dan slammed the final cupboard shut and stormed out of the kitchen. The bedroom door slammed soon after; the walls shook in response.

* * *

 

     Dan sat on his side of the bed, face hot and knees tucked into his chest. His thoughts grew worse with every second.

‘Well that went great. Why was tired, pre-coffee Phil such a dick? It’s not like Dan did anything wrong. He was just trying to think of what to say, so what if he slammed a couple cabinet doors? He was stressed. There were more pressing problems at hand. He had no idea what to do.’ The pang in his stomach spread and the tightness in his chest constricted further. He couldn’t think logically. Stress overtook his body and confusion infected his mind. Thoughts growing gradually more incoherent, Dan laid down and pulled the covers over his head. Hot, slow tears trailed down his cheeks and dropped from the slope of his nose. He allowed them to fall, eyes closing as fatigue overwhelmed his frame.

* * *

 

     Dan remained in the bedroom all afternoon. Although Phil wanted nothing more than to bust down the door and hold Dan and apologize one hundred times over, he thought better of it. Sometimes it was best if he left Dan alone for a while. Phil spent the day putting on a facade for Suzie while the guilt and regret gnawed at his thoughts and the pit in his stomach sank lower and festered. He did his best to will them away, but there was no resolving this until he discussed it with Dan.

     Suzie was lively and playful the entire afternoon--nothing out of the ordinary. Phil watched her all day. He even made lunch for them and let Suzie play whatever she wanted again. He was avoiding the inevitable. He was a rude, ungrateful husband that morning, the least he could do was continue to be a good father.

     Later that afternoon, Phil sat at the table with Suzie, snacks displayed in front of them, plastic wrapping giving away their guilty pleasure. Suzie sat in her chair, legs dangling and swinging back and forth as she munched contently. Phil watched her for a moment as he began to get lost in his thoughts for the upteenth time that day. He didn’t succeed, however, as Suzie’s cheerful voice broke through the quiet,

     “Hey, Papa?” she chirped.

     “Yes, my Suzie Q?”

She continued chewing as she asked,

     “Is Daddy working today?” She put her elbow on the table and rested her round chin in her soft palm, staring into Phil’s face expectantly.

     “No, sweetheart, Daddy is not working” ‘But what _was_ he doing?’ Phil wondered.

     “Oh, okay!” she chimed.

Phil then added, “And Suzie remember we don’t talk when we have food in our mouths,” Phil lightly scolded in an authoritative tone.

     “Oh, yeah, sorry Papa!” she replied, just as cheerful as before.

Suzie paused, as if pondering something. Then her eyebrows raised slightly like she had come to a conclusion.

     “Papa,” she paused again and quieted her voice, “are you mad at Daddy?”

The question took Phil by surprise. Five-year-olds were evidently more intuitive than he had originally thought. At least this one was. Phil patted his lap in invitation and Suzie slid off her chair to crawl onto Phil. Once she was settled into his lap, he answered,

     “No, Suzie Q, of _course_ I’m not mad at Daddy!” He sucked in a breath, “What gave you that idea?”

He tucked a stray curl behind her ear. She looked cautiously up at Phil’s face and began,

     “Um, I heard you and Daddy yelling after breakfast.”

Phil felt a sharp tug at his heart strings. Suzie shouldn’t have heard that. They were such idiots. Phil felt embarrassed he and Dan had even raised their voices at each other in the first place.

     “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry you heard that. But Daddy and I are not mad. See, sometimes people just get very tired and it makes them say not very nice things. But it’s not on purpose. It’s an accident, because if they had more sleep they would have  _never_ said those mean things.”

Suzie shifted in Phil’s lap and he put a hand on her back to balance her.

     “So, you and Daddy accidentally yell at each other because you need a nap?”

Phil grinned.

     “Yes, exactly,” and he kissed the curls at the top of her head.

She spoke up again,

     “So, even though it was an accident…” she thought for a second, “you still need to say sorry, right? And not miss your bedtime so you don’t end up accidentally yelling again?”

Phil let out a breathy chuckle. Sometimes five-year-olds were smarter than adults.

     “I believe so, sweetheart. You still need to say sorry. And then we'll try to sleep better so we're not so cranky.” Phil ruffled her auburn curls and Suzie looked up at him for a moment before throwing her arms around his neck and squeezing him as tight as she could. Phil didn't know how much he needed a hug until he was receiving one. He set his hand on her back and rubbed back and forth lightly. Her muffled voice sounded next to his ear,

     “I love you, Papa.”

Phil released the breath he was holding in,

     “I love you, too, Suzie Q.” Suzie squirmed out of his grip not long after that, looking content with her actions and tilting her head back to look up at him before expressing decidedly,

     “I'm gonna go play with my legos now!”

And before Phil gave any comment, she skipped off, humming along the way.

      Phil's heart was still hurt and guilty from his fight with Dan that morning, but Suzie had a way of warming him no matter how he felt. She was possibly the happiest child he had ever known. She was so curious, intelligent, but most of all, joyful. She had her bad days, but most of the time she resembled a ball of sunshine, skipping and shining wherever she went and being content with whatever she had. How did they get so lucky? Phil thought over Suzie's words. He did need to apologize to Dan. He had waited long enough and it wasn't fair to either of them to continue avoiding the elephant in the room (or, rather, in the whole house). He didn't even know what Dan had been going through and he snapped at him anyway without any forethought. He was so shit sometimes.

      Phil gathered the wrappers from the table and got up from his chair to cross the room and set them in the bin. He did his best to reassure himself that everything was fine no matter what Dan had heard this morning but his anxiety wasn't helping. His heartbeat picked up as he made his way to his bedroom door, listening to Suzie's soft voice humming and talking to her toys as she played peacefully down the hall. Phil expanded his lungs and took in the deepest breath he could as he raised a fist to hesitantly knock on the door. Before his knuckles brushed the wood, he released the breath shakily and his eyelids closed in preparation. His knock was nearly inaudible and although it was his room just as much as it was Dan’s, he still felt obligated to knock first, completely unsure of what he would meet on the other side. Not hearing any response for a moment, he knocked again and then turned the knob, eyes searching for Dan as he pushed the door open apprehensively.

      He saw no sign of Dan and wondered if he had perhaps slipped into the lounge while he and Suzie were eating. That thought diminished as soon as he noticed a tuft of brown curls peeking out from the duvet. Oh. Dan had been asleep this whole time? No wonder he hadn't come out of the bedroom for hours on end. Phil strolled over to the lump on the bed and sat on the edge, making sure to not get too close to Dan.

      “Dan?” Phil asked softly, hoping to not wake him up too forcefully.

      “ _Dan?_ Babe, wake up.” Dan stirred and pulled the covers off his head, and Phil immediately noticed the bags under his eyes and the redness around his puffy eyelids. Had Dan been crying? God, was Phil _that_ awful? Was Dan _that_ stressed? He heard Dan mumble finally,

      “Oh. Hi. I guess I fell asleep.”

Phil shook his head,

      “Hm. I guess you did. Listen--Dan,”

Dan yawned, interrupting Phil's planned apology and Phil rolled his eyes a little. Dan was so cute like this. His hair was tangled and pushed back, shirt wrinkled and small yawns continued to escape from him as Phil began again,

       “Dan…”

Dan interrupted once again, “Hmm?”

Phil cleared his throat. Dan was prone to interrupt him even though he never intended to. Phil did his best not to get irritated.

       “Dan, babe,” Phil shifted closer to Dan as he sat up in bed,  “I'm sorry I snapped at you. I was just...I mean... I'm just tired. I was a dick.”

Dan smirked,

       “You were.” His voice sounded deflated, but Phil sensed a teasing tone hidden in the words.

       “You didn't deserve that. You _don't_ deserve that. Sorry.” Phil reached out and placed a hand on Dan's, subconsciously rubbing a thumb back and forth. Dan glanced down at their hands before responding,

       “‘S alright. I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have yelled.” Dan raised his warm eyes to meet Phil's and Phil felt the warmth spread throughout his body and cover him completely. Dan was so pretty. He was too easy to forgive.

       Phil wanted to tackle him and pepper him with kisses all over his tired but sweet skin. But he knew he couldn't. Not with the tension that still loomed between them and swirled around their heads and through their minds. He knew Dan wouldn't want to speak first. So Phil decided to take the first step,

       “I know you said you didn't want to talk about it yet, but, Dan,” he paused before finishing, “you can't shut me out like this. It's torture.”

Phil brought his hand back to his lap and wrung his hands, somehow not able to look Dan in the eye anymore. He felt a tinge of worry. Was that the right thing to say? He tried his best to be gentle and careful with Dan. He had already said so many of the wrong things earlier. He gathered the courage to look into Dan's face once more. Dan had never looked away from Phil and again he met those warm, chestnut irises, amber flecks dancing as he gazed unflinchingly at Phil. In nearly twenty years of knowing each other and being together, Phil never tired of Dan's eyes. They held the universe. And they always revealed more than Dan intended.

        Dan finally broke contact, and examined his lap for a moment before stating simply,

       “I got a call this morning.” Phil waited for more. Dan's brows creased as he began again,

       “It was from the adoption agency.”

 _Oh._ That was strange. Why would they call after years of not hearing from them? He decided to express this aloud.

       “What? Why would they be calling?” Phil inquired.

Dan sighed. “Those were my thoughts exactly.”

       “ _So_?” Phil asked expectantly, “What did they want to talk about?”

Dan looked as if he wanted to squirm. He seemed to want to avoid answering.

       “ _Dan_. You can't keep avoiding this.”

Dan gripped the duvet and bit his lip,

        “I know.”

Phil could _feel_ Dan thinking. They sat in the uncomfortable silence for a minute too long. Phil stared at Dan while Dan seemed particularly interested in studying his lap and hands, teeth trying to bore a hole into his bottom lip. Dan ran a broad hand over his mussed up curls and frowned further.

       Dan wanted more time to plan what to say. He wanted Phil to hold him until every last drop of stress was gone. He never wanted to talk about it because to talk about it would be to deal with it, and he didn't want to do that, either. There was no good way to do this. Might as well just do it. Rip it off like a bandaid.

       “Suzie has a brother.”

_Oh._

_“_ And they want us to foster.”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conclusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What began as a 500 word oneshot became over 10k words of actual plot and an emotional journey. Thank you to @gracie-the-gay-yeet always for being my beta and personal cheerleader ty ly bb. Without further ado, here is the conclusion to my little story :)

_It was late afternoon and Dan and Phil laid in the lounge on the expanse of their grey couch, both typing away at their laptops. The sun began peeking through the blinds, casting golden beams across their bodies. Their legs overlapped and they took in each other's warmth, completely comfortable with the contented silence that enveloped them. The glow from the screens partially illuminated them and Dan glanced up from his writing to observe Phil. The artificial lighting made him appear more pale, almost ghostlike, and Dan’s eyes sparkled as he examined the beauty of his love, eyes like cool, fresh pools on a balmy summer day, strand of black hair tickling his forehead from where it strayed from the carefully crafted quiff, soft brows creased from concentration. Dan admired the lines that had begun to deepen around his mouth and at the corners of his eyes. He loved them more and more each day because he knew they represented all the years they had laughed together. They were the most stunning smile lines he had ever laid eyes on. Dan suddenly had a realization and although he was scared to admit it to Phil, he felt the need to take the leap of faith, anyway. It was just Phil, after all. He swallowed,_

_“Phil?”_

_Phil took his time to look up from his work but eventually brought his gaze upon Dan._

_“Yeah, babe?”_

_How exactly was Dan going to phrase this?_

_“Phil, can I ask you something?”_

_Phil smiled softly: a beautiful, gracious smile._

_“Always.”_

_Dan did his best to plan an eloquent question but instead just said,_

_“You want to have kids, right? W-with me...obviously.”_

_Phil looked taken by surprise but the expression faded quickly before he answered,_

_“Dan, of course I want to have kids with you.”_

_Dan sighed in relief. He already knew what Phil was going to say but he had to make sure. He took a deep breath in before stating,_

_“Good. Because...I'm ready. Now.”_

_Phil looked up again to make sure Dan was serious. He searched those golden and warm eyes and didn't find an ounce of insincerity. He wasn't expecting this conversation to happen this way but then again, this was just like them to randomly have a deep discussion about having kids in the comfort of their home, sharing their space, without even thinking about it. Phil smiled again, beaming at Dan's suddenly concerned face before replying,_

_“Good. I think I'm ready, too. Now.”_

* * *

 

     The words turned over in Phil's mind, a broken record on repeat and he was unable to stop it. ‘ _Suzie has a brother Suzie has a brother Suzie has a brother Suzie has a brother_ ’ and then ‘ _they want us to foster they want us to foste_ r.’ Suzie had a biological brother? Shouldn't they have known this before she was adopted? Was this just missed in her file? _They_ wanted _them_ to foster him? Where did he come from? What is he like? Are they ready for another--

     “Phil? Phil!”

Phil's thought trailed off with the grounding sound of Dan's solemn voice. Phil flicked his eyes to meet Dan's and Dan let out a breath.

      “Oh, okay. Almost lost you there.” He tried to smile. It didn't work.

          “How do we know?” Phil inquired, tone a little abrupt. He was trying to keep up with his racing mind.

          “What?”

          “How do we know? That she has a brother?” Phil slowed his speech a little.

           “He's her half brother. Turns out her mother had another kid three years after we got Suzie. She tried to..do well with him but...you know…” Dan's voice was quiet as he reached the end of the sentence.

Phil looked down at his soft hands, rubbing nervous circles into his palm with his thumb.

           “So this is what you were stressed about?”

Dan didn't speak, only nodded in response.

           “Well. That's not bad, right? We can figure it out?” Phil hoped to suppress his nervousness with an optimistic tone but he wasn't even sure they would figure it out. He always considered himself the more optimistic one in their relationship, but they were completely unprepared for another kid. Suzie alone was exhausting most days and they would have to make the office or the spare room into a new bedroom. Lots of things to buy. Prepare for. He didn't even know where to begin.

        Dan scoffed, “Figure it out? Phil, we're exhausted all the time with Suze and work. She's just one kid! We don't even have that much more room in this house for another kid! Not to mention financially how this is gonna fuck things up. There's no way we are ready. We can't do it.”

Dan pushed himself off the bed and began pacing back and forth in front of Phil.

         “Why do you have to be so negative about it?” Phil asked before considering what he was about to say.

Dan paused his rapid pacing and turned to face Phil, a fire beginning to glow behind his irises. And not a good fire.

         “I'm not _negative_ , I'm just being realistic. I know you want to stick to your ‘oh everything's fine it'll work out’ blah blah bull shit but this is taking on another kid. This is not like buying a puppy, Phil!”

        Phil felt a pang in his chest at Dan's words and reciprocated his stressed tone,

         “Why are you so worried about this? We can do it, it's not like we don't have the resources! And you're not being realistic, you're just a pessimist! Why can't you see the bright side of things for once?”

         “Phil you and I both know how difficult that is for me. This is serious and I fully expect you to take this as seriously as I am. _Jesus_.”

Phil stood from the bed then and huffed,

            “I'm not fucking stupid, Dan. I _do_ take this seriously. God, I'm not some man-child. I know this is a big deal. I just think we can look at it from a different perspective.”

Dan paced again, passing in front of Phil while avoiding his gaze,

         “Well from _my_ perspective this is too much to take on right now. We can't do it. I'm saying no.”

         Phil tried to get Dan to look at him with no avail,

         “Oh so you want to separate Suzie from her biological brother? They deserve to be together and know each other and you're just going to _deny_ her that? That's fucking unfair.”

Dan finally glanced up from his study of the floor and his voice rose,

        “Don't you think I fucking know that already? That they should know each other? I've already been thinking about this all day, _Jesus,_ Phil. It's like you don't even understand how much I know they should be together. But I don't fucking see right now how we could work this one out!”

         “That's because,” Phil lowered his voice to an intimidating level, “you can never get over the negative shit and think logically about things! You're not thinking, Dan. We can't just let a brother of Suzie's float around in foster care until he's 18. That's fucking cruel and you know it.”

         Dan ran his hand over his distressed curls and the rosy patch grew darker with each word he spat at Phil.

         “Don't do that to me. Don't fucking play the ‘guilt Dan into agreeing with you game.’ That's not gonna happen.”

         “I'm _not_ trying to--”

         “Yes you fucking are. You fucking are and you know it. You're so _fucking stubborn_ sometimes and you don't like it when things don't go your way. Well guess what, Phil, things aren't going to go your way. Because I've already made my decision!”

Phil’s eyes deepened as he grew increasingly irritated. _No_ . _This_ was not how it was going to be.

         “I'm not fucking guilting you into _anything_ , Dan. This time _I'm_ being realistic. We _can't_ let this kid get away from us. That is so goddamn unfair and you know it. You know it but you can't see past the stress and the idea of having to do work for all this. Well just because it's unexpected doesn't mean it's bad. And this time I say _you_ aren't getting _your_ way because I've already made up my mind!”

          It was silent for a moment, Phil's words echoing through the room, bouncing off of the tension between them. Dan spun around to sit on the bed again, and set his elbows on his thighs, burying his face in his hands, face flushed from anger and eyes red with exhaustion and wet with tears. It was all too much.

         “Well. Then I don't know what to do. Since you seem so determined to make this decision yourself, I'll just stay out of it. You don't need me, apparently.” Dan's voice had grown forlorn even through the tension he still held in his tone. He did his best to keep his head turned away from Phil. _Don't cry don't cry don't cry don't cry_.

         The pain festered in Phil's chest as he watched Dan sat on the bed, tears threatening to fall. Neither of them had said the right thing. Neither of them knew what to do. Dan's words swirled in Phil's head, _‘you don't need me, apparently.’_ But he did. He _did_ need him. He needed Dan more than anything. Phil wandered to the bed and gingerly sat next to Dan, cautiously laying a hand on his knee.

He softened his voice as much as he could,

    “That's not true. This has to be a decision we make together. We have to do this together, love.”

Dan couldn't hold it in any longer. Silent tears began to roll down his cheeks and he reached a hand up to desperately wipe them away. Phil took his hand to stop him.

    “Dan. It's okay. It's gonna be okay. I know you're stressed, love, but I'm here. We can do this.”

Dan nodded.

    “Phil you have no idea how much I want this. I _do_ want this. I would have ten kids with you if I could. I just don't know how it'll work out. I don't know anything.”

Phil leaned into Dan then, reaching his lengthy arms out and pulling Dan's warm body into him, rubbing a smooth hand on his back and shushing him.

    “I don't know either.” He leaned in to press a delicate kiss to Dan's temple. “But what I do know is that I love you. I love you.”

Dan raised his tear stained face to gaze at Phil. His eyes were searching. He opened his mouth to speak but instead kissed Phil. The touch was light but comforting and Phil pressed himself further into Dan.

         “Okay,” Dan whispered.

Phil crossed his brows. “‘ _Okay_ ’, what?”

Dan smiled softly and kissed Phil on the forehead, where his brow was creased from the question.

         “Okay let's do it.”

Phil's eyes widened as he realized what Dan implied. He squeezed Dan into a tighter embrace and firmly kissed him, excitement and love electrifying their bodies.

       Dan pulled away for a moment and nearly got lost in Phil's eyes before replying, “I love you, too”

* * *

 

       Light filtered through the blinds, gold overflowing and dripping across the sleeping bodies, painting Dan's face. The beam danced and landed on the duvet, illuminating the bedroom and gently waking him. Dan blinked and closed his eyes again, unwilling to wake up just yet. His arms were hugging Phil's middle and he inhaled deep, memorizing the scent of Phil's hair and sleepy skin before relaxing back into the pillow. Phil hummed contently, evidently somewhat conscious, as well. Unexpectedly, Phil mumbled,

     “Hmm, you know what today is, right, love?”

Dan wanted to shush him and tell him to go back to sleep but then he remembered. Today was the day they would meet Dillon for the first time. Three months after that initial call and the day had finally arrived. They were meeting their son. Suzie would finally meet her brother. They could hug him and see what he was like and hold him and make him feel loved. He was so little, just two years old. Suddenly Dan was less inclined to fall back asleep. He was too excited.

      “Oh my god, Phil!” Dan propped himself up with his elbow. “We get to-”

Phil finished his sentence, “meet Dillon today. I know.”

Phil turned to face Dan and smiled. Dan lifted a hand to trace Phil's jaw.

      “Oh my fucking god I'm so--I'm so excited.”

Phil leaned up and kissed Dan, morning breath and all.

      “I'm excited, too.”

They laid there as long as they could, smiling like idiots and relishing in their joy and anticipation.

* * *

 

      Dan's fingers found Phil's as they began walking toward the building. Behind those walls was their son. Suzie's brother. Another kid. Another adventure. He squeezed Phil's hand a little tighter as a sudden wave of anxiety hit him. _Oh, God, would Dil get along with Suzie? Would he like them? Would he be comfortable? Would he adjust okay to his new home?_

     “Phil, what if Dillon doesn't like m--”

Phil squeezed his hand and stepped more into Dan's space.

       “Dan, don't even finish that sentence. It'll be okay, okay?” And Phil ran his thumb along Dan's and leaned their shoulders together.

         While they entered the building, waited for the social worker, walked down the hall, and entered the room, Dan's mind was fog. It was all a blur. He was exhilarated and nervous. He wanted this, he always wanted more kids. This was surreal.

       The door clicked open and time froze. He felt Phil's gaze on him as his eyes were met with a pair of wide, grey ones. Trying to hide behind the social worker's legs, a pudgy two year old stared up at Dan and Phil, complexion flushed and light freckles dusting his nose and forehead. His dark waves were a mess atop his head and he peeked up through his long lashes. His delicate fingers gripped the pant leg of the social worker and she chuckled at his timid nature.

       “He's usually pretty shy around new people,” she explained, “I promise it's not just you.”

Dan was sure he stopped breathing for a moment. Dillon was precious and all he wanted to do was sweep him up in his arms and tickle him and hear his giggle echo through the room.

      Dan watched as Phil crouched down, maintaining some distance between him and Dillon and cooing softly,

      “Hi, Dillon! We're your new dads. Promise we aren't as scary as we look,” and goddamn, Dan was in love. Phil reached a smooth hand out and Dillon decided to venture from his hiding place. Dil's socked feet toddled toward Phil curiously and he stopped in front of Phil. A squeaky, shy voice sounded from the toddler’s lips,

       “Hi!”

Phil giggled in his baritone and Dan felt as if he would burst. He knew he would remember this moment for the rest of his life. As he crouched down next to Phil, he knew they had made the right decision. Dillon was a new adventure. An adventure he would never regret.

* * *

 

        Phil sat in the back of the taxi and took in deep breaths. If he thought he was tired before, he was dead wrong. This was genuine exhaustion.

          The taxi finally pulled to a stop and Phil did his best to gather all of his bags in a logical manner. Perhaps he bought too much, but he didn't want to be underprepared. He hoped Dan wouldn't notice. Dillon had just turned two and Dan and Phil were officially back to baby things. Back to diapers. Back to potty training. Back to teaching them how to say certain words. Suzie started to say “litrally” when she was two. Maybe Dillon would do the same. Phil chuckled at the thought. It was equally incredible, thrilling, and terrifying.

         Phil shuffled out of the back seat and handed cash to the driver. He nodded a smile and muttered a “thank you” before stepping out of the car.

         The more he considered life with a baby, the more sentimental he felt. As he walked toward the house, a warmth expanded from his stomach to his chest. It would be amazing. Watching Dil grow. Hearing him babble away. Teaching him new words. Reading to him. Watching him nap in the crib. Letting him wrap his little fingers around his. _Yeah._ This was good. It was going to be good.

          Phil pat his coat pocket for his keys and dug a hand in to grab them. The sky had gone dark already, clouds drifting above him while the crisp evening air bit at his nose and fingers. His cheeks pinked from the cold as he creaked up the porch steps to the front door.

        Phil wondered what sort of scene he was going to walk in on. For Dil’s first night with them, Dan and Phil wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. He had been so timid when they first met and they wanted him to know just how loving and open their family was. He was family now.

         Once Dillon had become more comfortable around them during visits, they discovered for a second time just how much energy a two year old had. He ran around and interacted with anything and everything. Phil had realized just how non-toddler proof their house had become since Suzie got older. Would Phil walk in to see Dil running around and playing like a madman like he had this afternoon?

         Phil listened as he put the key in the lock and turned the handle. There was complete silence. He pushed the quaint blue door open and soon discovered why. The scene Phil came home to instantly melted his heart into a warm puddle on the floor.

         Phil's eyes drifted to the grey sofa. Dan laid across it, head resting on a throw pillow propped up behind him. His mouth hung slightly open, deep, lofty sighs slipping from his lush lips. The rosy patch on his cheek grew to a deep blush, dark tousled curls a mess atop his head, a few strays brushing his forehead. As his chest rose and fell, a snoozing Dillon rose and fell with it, head nestled on Dan's chest, hand clasping his black t-shirt, wearing only a red shirt with his diaper. His waves fell onto his freckled face, long lashes dusting his round, flushed cheeks. Suzie was sprawled across Dan's legs, arm supporting her head and pink pajama shirt bunched around her waist. Her ringlets were wild, sticking out every which way and miniature snores sounded from her agape mouth.

          Phil's lips easily slipped into an adoring smile as he took in this moment. He loved that this was what life could be like from now on. Dan looked so cute and so much like a typical dad, baby asleep on his chest on the couch that Phil's heart swelled. When he and Dan first married, Phil didn't think he could be any more in love. But watching his husband asleep on their couch, in their home, their two kids curled up with him, he was immediately proven wrong.

         Phil continued to observe Dan in his peaceful slumber as he crept further into the lounge. He set the bags on the coffee table, being careful to not let them crinkle too much. He shrugged his coat off, setting it on the opposite side of the couch before crouching down next to Dan's face. He reached a careful hand to wisp a stray curl from Dan's brow and leaned in to brush his lips against his forehead. Dan didn't even stir. Phil stretched his arms out to gently lift Dillon from Dan's chest. He stood and hugged Dil to him as Dil's arms instinctively wrapped around him. Dil's hot cheek squished against Phil's neck and Phil bent down slightly to get Suzie up. He nudged her arm and whispered,

        “Hey, sweetheart. Time for bed.”

Suzie raised her head and blinked sleepily.

       “Okay Papa” she mumbled, yawn escaping her lips.

Phil pressed his index finger to his lips,

       “Shh, don't wake Daddy.”

She nodded in silent understanding and slowly pulled herself up from the couch, rubbing her eyes with a balled fist. She stretched her arms up to Phil to be carried and he sighed as he gathered her up into his already half-full arms. Suzie nuzzled her nose into Phil's shoulder and with both kids settled into his hold he began the trek to their bedroom.

     Phil continued to cradle Dillon as he let Suzie down onto her bed, pulling blankets up around her and kissing her temple.

     “Goodnight, my Suzie Q.”

     “Goodnight, Papa,” she yawned.

Then Phil turned to the crib in the corner and lowered Dil into it, draping the blanket over his tiny body and reaching a hand down to brush brunet waves out of Dil's eyes.

     “Goodnight, Dillon,” Phil muttered, hardly a whisper. He paused before adding, “welcome to our family.”

     Phil stepped back into the lounge where Dan was curled up, still fast asleep. Phil chuckled airily at his basically “dead-to-the-world” husband. He kneeled next to Dan's relaxed face and leaned in, using his long fingers to card through the fluffy curls.

    Dan awoke to the sensation of Phil pressing his supple lips to Dan's warmed cheek. His eyes cracked open and met Phil's kaleidoscopic irises. He was gazing down at Dan fondly and slung an arm around Dan's waist.

     “Hi, sleepyhead,” Phil whispered, “Let's go to bed.”

Dan blinked to will some of the sleepiness away.

     “Mmm…” he hummed, melting into Phil's touch.

     “Can't I just stay here? Don't wanna get up,” he whined in a barely articulated voice.

Phil shook his head.

    “C'mon, Dan. You'll regret it if you sleep here.”

Dan rolled over.

     “Mmmno I won't, I'm not old like you. I don't get backaches.”

     “Hey!” Phil poked Dan's side, “I'm not _that_ old!”

Dan smirked, “Whatever you say, gran-” but before Dan could finish, Phil had slipped his arms underneath Dan and hoisted him up.

     Dan's lengthy body was now draped across Phil's pale, toned arms bridal style, blush darkening his complexion.

     “Phiiiiiiil!” Dan whined shrilly as Phil began carrying him that way to the bedroom. “You're gonna drop me!”

Phil grinned and a deep giggle bubbled from his throat.

      “Shh! Dan! You'll wake the kids!”

Dan rolled his eyes but was quickly startled by the wall nearly coming in contact with the back of his head. He gripped onto Phil for dear life, broad hands attached to the back of Phil's neck, fingers tickling the short black hairs there. Once again, Dan nearly smacked his head, this time on the door frame.

    “Phil!” he whispered harshly, “careful! You're gonna bang me against something!”

Phil finally set Dan down in the bedroom, but did not release him from his grip. He enveloped Dan with his arms and pulled him as close as physically possible.

     “Mmmm,” Phil rumbled darkly, “that sounds nice, actually, but I think we're too tired for that tonight.”

Dan's eyes widened in realization. Phil winked,

     “Raincheck?” His bass voice echoed through the mere centimeters between them.

     “You little shit,” Dan muttered, amused. He closed the distance, tenderly kissing Phil.

      Phil finally released Dan and began to get undressed, unbuttoning his jeans to shuffle them down and off. When he turned around, Dan was practically falling asleep standing. Phil grinned and sauntered over to him.

    “Okay, babe. Let me help you. Sit.”

Dan mindlessly followed Phil's command and landed on the bed. Phil kneeled in front of him to pull Dan's shoes off. Like a toddler, Dan lifted one leg, then the other as Phil tugged the shoes and socks off and tossed them aside. Dan clumsily played with the hem of his shirt, eyelids half shut and Phil reached to stop his hands.

     “Here, let me.”

Dan might as well have been snoring already. Phil wrapped his arms behind Dan, grasping the soft hem of the t-shirt and peeling it up, shrugging it off of Dan's broad shoulders.

     Dan began leaning back to lie down but Phil acted quickly, catching him just before he hit the mattress.

      “Almost, babe. Let's get your jeans off, then we can go to bed.”

Phil reached down and carefully undid the button, fingers grazing Dan's torso in the process. Phil's nimble fingers then gripped the zipper and nonchalantly pulled down, slipping his chilled hands beneath the black denim waistband and gradually shuffling the pants down Dan's tall legs. As soon as Dan had kicked them off his ankles, he flopped back onto the mattress with a drained sigh. He laid on Phil's side of the bed and Phil smiled, admiring his sleepy spouse.

     “Scoot over to your side, babe!”

Dan rolled over reluctantly and curled up, facing away from Phil. Phil settled into his side and sidled next to Dan, wrapping him up and taking in his scent. Their legs were entangled and Phil brushed his lips against the nape of Dan's neck. Dan's breathing had already slowed considerably and his chest rose and fell steadily. Phil held him securely, pondering how his life had become this wonderful.

     A much younger Phil would have never believed that one day he'd be cuddling his husband in bed, warm and comfortable, while their two children slumbered in the next room, in their home, safe and content. They weren't perfect. But _this_ , _this_ is what life was about. Everything else about the world melted away. Nothing else mattered.

     As Phil nuzzled his nose into the back of Dan's neck and drifted off, one last thought passed through his mind. If home is where the heart is, Phil was home. His heart was here. Family was home. But family was even more: _a warmth, a belonging, an embrace, a masterpiece_.

    

         


End file.
